What Dreams May Come
by I love music
Summary: COMPLETE STORY prequel & sequel to Always and Forever
1. Default Chapter

Hi  
  
Your reviews for Always and Forever were lovely and some of you asked me to write another fanfic so I decided to have a go at writing a prequel. This is likely to be very short though, maybe only four or five chapters, as I'm more or less only taking it up till when Kane and Kirsty meet for the first time. Soz I can't have them meeting up too much (I'd have to rewrite AAF if I did!) but hope you enjoy reading. The one thing I have changed is that Suzy Palmer's little boy is about a year older - that kid was just too smart otherwise!!  
  
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***WHAT DREAMS MAY COME***  
  
Captain Kane Phillips leaned on the ship's rail, enjoying the the salty taste of the fresh sea wind and the sea spray falling on his face like a light summer rain, frowning as the ship lurched slightly left. Good navigation should feel make it feel like the ship was flying. Able Seaman Byrne was going wrong somewhere and he'd have to check it out. Still, Tommy Byrne was a bonzer bloke, even if he didn't yet have the navigating skills of himself.  
  
"Good evening, Captain Phillips!"  
  
Uh-oh! Kane knew the voices even before he turned. Gemma Simpson. Gemma Simpson and her pushy Mum. Both of them worth megabucks from some inheritance or other.  
  
"Evening, ma'am. Evening, ma'am" He lightly touched his cap twice, ever mindful of being polite to the passengers.  
  
"So we'll be...uh...dining with you tonight?" Mrs Simpson glanced meaningfully from her daughter to Kane.  
  
"Of course, ma'am, it will be my pleasure." He faked a smile, used to dealing with passengers like Gemma Simpson and her Mum. "The chef has prepared a wonderful course of eggs, fries and beans."  
  
"My favourite!" Gemma said, giving a little giggle that she imagined was attractive but which never failed to grate on Kane's nerves. "I think I..."  
  
"Tane! Tane!" Jamie's little face was a picture of excitement and Suzy Palmer had difficulty keeping up with her small son as he gripped her hand, pulling her towards his hero. But she didn't mind too much. They'd met Kane before when they'd last holidayed at the Summer Bay caravan park and he was a nice kid.  
  
"G'day, mate!" Kane swung Jamie round, both of them losing their balance and falling back into the soft white sand, which made Jamie roll about laughing. "G'day, Mrs Palmer!"  
  
"Hi, Kane." Suzy didn't bother to correct him it was still Miss Palmer and she preferred Suzy as she flopped down on the beach without a thought about the sand staining her clothes. Being Mum of a two-year-old, she was used to getting dirty. "So we're both on our holidays the same time again, huh?"  
  
"Yeh." He gave a strange look, she thought, but maybe that was because of the question on his mind. "Do you know what do they have for dinner on cruise ships?"  
  
"Cruise ships?" Suzy leaned forward to tickle Jamie and make him laugh some more. "Wow, your Mum and Dad saving up for a cruise one day then? Um...from what I've heard, you kind of eat all day long on a cruise ship, there's everything from salads and fresh fruit to roast dinners and apple pie."  
  
"No eggs, fries and beans?"  
  
Suzy laughed. "Maybe, couldn't say, I don't think it's what people ask for much! But don't go knocking back a cruise ship holiday and upsetting the oldies just because of that. From what you've told me about them, your Mum and Dad adore you and your little brothers."  
  
"Yeh. Yeh, they do. We took Luke and Jordan to the pool before and I was teaching 'em how to swim and Mum said I could have eggs, fries and beans for tea tonight just 'cos it's my favourite."   
  
  
  
"Cool!" Suzy said. He was a funny kid at times. Always staring out to sea dreaming about something or other, always talking about how great his family was and how his kid brothers loved to copy what Kane did. She'd yet to meet his wonderful family though. She guessed his Mum and Dad thought him far too young to be looking after two even younger kids, which was why they didn't mind whenever he wandered off to Suzy.  
  
He was one lucky kid, having such a great family, his folks planning a cruise holiday for them all, but he just didn't seem to know it There was still a faraway look on his face as he watched Suzy and Jamie having a pretend fight before he finally shook himself out of the dream and grinned broadly.   
  
"C'mon, mate, race you to the flag!"  
  
Jamie was up like a shot, his plump little legs speeding over the sand, blissfully unaware that Kane was letting him win. Suzy smiled at them as she basked in the warm sun. It was a beautiful day and Summer Bay was a beautiful place. No one in Summer Bay could possibly have a care in the world.  
  
*****  
  
There was a steady splish-splash as Kirsty Sutherland swam smoothly through the pool. She was way, way ahead of the other competitors and she was barely out of breath. It was funny. No matter how many times she swam, she never lost the thrill of floating weightlessly through water.  
  
It was almost like flying, she thought, vaguely aware that the blur of colours was the crowd, vaguely aware of their excited cheering and of the loudspeaker:  
  
"...and Kirsty Sutherland, ladies and gentlemen and Jade and Dani and Kirsty's Mum and Dad, the world champion swimmer, heading for her third gold medal, she makes it look so easy..."   
  
Kirsty popped the last of the chocolate in her mouth, screwed up the paper, tossed it to the bin, missed, didn't care, and lay back on the bed, returning to the dream...  
  
"...Kirsty Sutherland has won again! Just listen to that crowd! Listen, listen!"  
  
"Listen, Kirsty!" Dani sighed for the third time."Don't eat when you're lying down, you might choke."  
  
Dani clicked on the Barbie lamp that separated the twins' beds and Kirsty blinked in its sudden light. It wasn't like five-year-old Kirsty to half-doze, but she was bored, bored, bored, grounded by the heavy rain, and tired of watching Dani and Jade play doing each other's hair. Large raindrops were hitting the window in a steady splish-splash and outside already looked like night though the evening didn't usually go so dark until much later.   
  
"Jade said this was from Ben Smith." Dani had picked up the screwed-up paper, ready to throw it pointedly into the bin until Jade had whispered Ben Smith had wrapped the bar of chocolate in it. Dani had been hearing a lot about Ben Smith lately and how he was keen on Kirsty. Admittedly, all the infomation had come from Jade, and none from Kirsty, but Dani loved matchmaking.  
  
"Yeh. So what?"   
  
"Omigod, Kirst, have you read it?" Dani smoothed the creased, chocolate smeared paper some more, sharing a look with Jade, who looked all knowing.  
  
Kirsty glanced briefly at the large, clumsy, rainbow-coloured letters.  
  
"Go oot witt me Ben" she read aloud, and shrugged. "Yeh. So what?" she said again.  
  
  
  
Why was everyone making a big deal of Ben's words? When she'd first unwrapped the square parcel left on her desk she'd been aware that Ben was watching closely. She hadn't a clue what it meant, but Ben was from England and Kirsty was still in the middle of teaching him words like bonzer, dill and g'day. Thanks to Mum, Dad and Dani always reading with them, the twins were far ahead of the rest of their class at reading and writing and the message was nonsense to both, but Jade seemed to understand things about boys that were a complete mystery to Kirsty.  
  
Her twin hadn't been able to stop giggling as Kirsty had unwrapped the chocolate, given Jade a piece, taken some herself, and smiled at Ben, which seemed to make him happy. Then, when she'd got home from school, Mum and Dad had looked amused when they saw Ben's words.  
  
"Is this kid German or Scottish, Kirst?" Rhys Sutherland had grinned and he and Shelley both fell about laughing.  
  
Of course she'd asked Jade what was so funny, but Jade had only giggled again and said she couldn't wait to tell Dani.  
  
"He wants to be your boyfriend!" Dani said breathlessly. "It's sooo cute, giving you chockie and everything. What did you tell him?"  
  
"She smiled at him," Jade said.  
  
"Good enough," Dani said approvingly. "Oh, Kirst, you got a boyfriend!"  
  
"Urrggh, no way, I'm no geek!" Kirsty put her fingers to her throat to indicate her feelings.   
  
"But you told him yes, you smiled at him and ate the chockie," Dani said. "So now you're his girlfriend."  
  
"I am NOT!" Kirsty scowled as she jumped off the bed and stomped downstairs.  
  
Jade and Dani got all girly and giggly about boys, but Kirsty had better things to do. Why did Ben Smith have to spoil everything? She liked him as a mate. If she ever fell in love like in the fairytales, it would be with a boy who never, ever expected her to sit round being girly and giggly. It would be with a boy who would want to run with her faster than anyone had ever run, climb with her higher than anyone had ever climbed, who believed they could touch the moon and the stars. Not Ben Smith nor Dale Armstrong (her best mate, who Dani insisted would really like Kirsty to be his girlfriend) nor any other boy she knew.  
  
She thudded angrily on the bottom stair at the same time as thunder rolled overhead, lightning flickered, and the house plunged into darkness.   
  
*****  
  
It was evening when Kane pushed open the creaking garden gate. Hours since Suzy Palmer and her kid had returned to their caravan but he'd been roaming down on the wharf because he only ever went home when it was too dark to stay out. Sometimes he almost convinced himself that the makebelieve family, especially Luke and Jordan, actually existed, but when he got home he couldn't pretend anymore.  
  
He didn't have any younger brothers, he had just one brother, Scott, who was older and who was always thinking up ways he would kill him. And he still didn't know how you got your Mum and Dad to like you.  
  
Maybe you had to be cute like Jamie. Jamie's Mum played games with him, bought him lollies, fussed over when he fell over. Or maybe you had to be smart, he knew kids who were smart whose parents seemed real proud of them when they picked them up from school. Or maybe you always had to be real good so they never got mad at you and instead took you to the movies and read you bedtime stories.  
  
It was obviously his fault they didn't like him, but he tried real hard to be good, never crying, no matter how much he wanted to, when he got bashed. And he must have been cute too when he was Jamie's age and he sometimes got gold stars in school but when he told them they only said stuff like stop jabbering or he'd get a thick lip. He couldn't figure it. Maybe he was just plain unlikeable.  
  
The front door had been left half open. Kane crept warily indoors, automatically hunching his shoulders. Dad was talking on the phone.  
  
"We got the spirits alright. In the room at the top of the stairs, the whole ******* lot of them." As he spoke, Richie Phillips glanced up at the door that still had an "I" shaped crack in its frame from the time he'd smashed his fist against it, too drunk to use the handle.   
  
Oh, Jeez, Jeez, Jeez, Dad had found out! Only Kane had known before.   
  
That the room was haunted. 


	2. Chapter 2

***CHAPTER 2***  
  
Kane had had the same going-to-bed routine for the last two weeks, since he'd first decided to make the boxroom his bedroom after Scotty threatened to kill him while he was asleep. He would cautiously open the boxroom door and press down the brown light switch. The ghosts were never there in the daytime and were never there, to begin with, at night. But the moment he flicked the light switch back up and stumbled through the darkness to his bed, some twenty shadows of varying shapes and sizes met up, and must have flitted off, no doubt to do their nightly haunting while he slept, because they were always gone when he opened his eyes to red morning sunlight filtering through the tiny window.   
  
He reckoned he and the ghosts had an understanding. He didn't bother them and they wouldn't bother him, and they all co-existed, fairly happily, in the little room where Kane slept on an old sofa bed that had been dumped there the day the Phillips family moved in, wrapping an old curtain round himself because Mum had objected to him dragging the duvet from his own bed across the boxroom's thick dust and half-used tins of paint. The ghosts didn't even seem to mind that he coughed heaps every night.  
  
The boxroom's only furniture apart from the sofa bed was an old-fashioned, badly scraped wooden dresser that had been left by previous tenants, but he loved every inch of the room, from the damp patch on the ceiling to its worn, frayed carpet and peeling, yellowing wallpaper. Behind the dresser someone had scrawled "JD 1966" on the wallpaper and, picturing the delight of some future archaelogist when he stumbled on the amazing find, Kane had written his own name, the date, and, as an afterthought, added 'sunny v.hot'. Two weeks' worth of dated, signed weather reports followed, fortunately all hidden by the dresser, because he was dead if Mum or Dad ever found out. And he was dead now if Dad realised Kane already knew about the spirits in the boxroom.  
  
"You got a problem, drongo?" Richie Phillips drawled as he put the receiver back in its cradle.  
  
His small son shook his head emphatically, ready to run if Dad's fist swung his way.  
  
"Then get out of my ******* sight!"   
  
Kane didn't need telling twice. He backed off to the sanctuary of the boxroom, pretty certain the ghosts wouldn't be happy that Dad knew about them. And there was something else he was damn sure the spirits wouldn't like. While he'd been out playing on the beach the little room had been filled with crates of booze.  
  
*****  
  
  
  
The white card had caught Suzy Palmer's attention because, hanging precariously on to life by a single drawing pin, it fluttered on the little notice board as she opened the door. Normally Suzy only skimmed through the adverts that were posted in the doorway of the house that served as the caravan site's reception office unless she spotted the magic word "free". She would have loved to take Jamie to theme parks and on glass-bottomed boats to view the marine life, but as a single Mum she was forever struggling with money and wouldn't have managed at all without her Mum and Dad's generosity.   
  
"It's a real bargain, isn't it?" the girl behind the counter said, finding her reading the notice when she returned with the buggy Suzy was hiring.  
  
Suzy was doing rapid mental calculations as, just in time, she prevented Jamie from pulling handfuls of assorted Summer Bay postcards out of the stand, spoiling his grand plans for redecorating the floor.  
  
There had been unusually wet weather in the Bay last year and the park owners were obviously trying to entice people back. They were offering two weeks for the price of one during the school holidays and fifty per cent off the cost if you booked before the 5th. It was the 5th tomorrow so she needed to make up her mind fast. She had some savings. If she took a basic van, it would end up costing her very little more than it did for this weekend away and Mum and Dad could have a proper rest. Much as they loved their grandson, they got tired very easily now they were older and Dad had had that major op a few months back.  
  
Suzy had smiled at the receptionist and taken her cheque book out of her bag. "I'd like to book."  
  
*****  
  
Kane hadn't told anyone at all about the ghosts. Telling people things got you into strife. Like when Mum had put the bottle into her bag.  
  
Kane had wondered why she needed a zip-up flight bag when the stores always gave people a bag for groceries and he watched curiously as she put the bottle away while the guy in the liquor store turned his back to get the smokes she'd asked for.  
  
"...And the bottle of vodka," Mrs Phillips said, smiling.  
  
The guy frowned. "I already gave it to you."  
  
"No. Sorry. You didn't." Di Phillips' smile didn't lose any of its sweetness as she casually flicked back her glossy dark hair.  
  
"I could've sworn..." the clerk said, shaking his head at himself.  
  
"It's in your bag, Mum," Kane said helpfully.  
  
The guy's hand stopped in the middle of reaching up to the shelves and their vast array of bottles shining brightly under the store lights.  
  
"Don't be silly, Kane, of course it isn't." Di Phillips was still smiling.  
  
"Yeh, it is, Mum." Jeez, she was being sooo forgetful today! Lucky that Kane was here to help out.  
  
The shop guy looked serious. "I think maybe we should check your bag or call security."  
  
Kane never did figure it out. Mum was laughing when she unzipped the bag, revealing the missing bottle, and said, "Omigod, I can't believe I did that! The doctor did warn me those new pills might make me forgetful, but I never thought...I'm so, so sorry, whatever must you think?"  
  
The guy in the shop smiled back as he took the cash. Mum had that effect on guys, like they couldn't help smiling at her. "An honest mistake, I guess," he said. "Good thing your kid noticed."  
  
"Yeh, wasn't it?"  
  
And Mum was still smiling happily as they left the store. That's why it came as such a shock. As they took the back street short cut, Di Phillips suddenly whacked him so hard across the face that he half stumbled into the narrow, empty road.  
  
"You ******* stupid, stupid..."  
  
Kane couldn't remember all the words now, if he'd ever heard them all to begin with, his ear was ringing and burning red hot with the pain. But he got the message alright. You didn't tell people stuff. He'd been four or five when he'd learnt that and now he was older he knew even more.  
  
When Mum glanced carefully round a new store she was checking out cameras and security, not looking for someone she'd arranged to meet like he'd thought before. And when she put something in her bag it wasn't because stores always allowed you so many free items per visit. But by then he'd been keeping his mouth shut for ages anyways. And as for home, well, he didn't recollect exactly how he knew you kept quiet there, somehow he'd always known.  
  
Things happened at home, cops banging on the door or people needing to see Dad about something urgent in the dead of night. You watched and you listened, but you kept your mouth buttoned. So he'd never told anyone about the ghosts gathering in the boxroom every night.  
  
Now he surveyed the crates on the sofa bed and wondered how the hell he was going to sleep there without them rattling. They'd have to be moved. He gritted his teeth and tried to lift the first crate but it was impossible to even shift it slightly.  
  
"What the ******* hell d'you think ya doin'? You ain't kipping down in here tonight!"  
  
He froze as his father gripped him by the scruff of his neck and pulled him out of the boxroom towards where Kane knew Scott would be waiting, listening. He was sure he sensed his brother smile grimly. Scott could be silent and dangerous as a stalking tiger.   
  
"Dad, I can't sleep in there! Scotty's gonna kill me!"  
  
"Jeez, why didn't ya say so, son? I got the perfect answer." Richie roared with laughter, abruptly swivelled round and began dragging him roughly down the stairs instead.  
  
Di Phillips staggered drunkenly out of the living-room, carrying a glass lopsidedly, Kane couldn't tell if she was laughing or crying. Her hair wasn't as glossy as it used to be and she used far more make-up nowadays, but she could still make the guys' heads turn and that caused lot of blues between herself and Richie. Some of the drink sloshed over the side of the glass on to her shoes and she cursed, staggering against the wall, hardly aware of her husband or Kane.  
  
And then the door banged shut on him. As it had done so many times before.  
  
Kane looked up at the sky, trying to stem the tears 'cos Mum and Dad might like him if they saw he wasn't a crier, but splashes of rain were stinging his eyes and he needed to look down again, and he never wished so hard someone, anyone, would hug him, just once, just for a while, just till all the pain inside him went away. 'Cos it hurt that the only person to mention it had been Miss Morris, yesterday, when she'd been writing something in the class register as school let out, that was how he'd remembered.  
  
"Have yourself a good birthday tomorrow, Kane," she'd said.  
  
Seven. He was seven today.  
  
*****  
  
Upstairs Jade was crying and Dani sounded anxious. Dad must have left the spare room where he'd been working on the computer to go and see if they were okay; Kirsty heard his footsteps crossing the landing and his strong, reassuring voice, though she couldn't make out what was being said.  
  
It was as if the lights had gone out all over Australia. The house was like night and not even the street lamp shone inside it normally did. But Kirsty wasn't afraid. She loved watching thunderstorms and with its frantic crashing and wild bursts of lightning this one promised to be a real beauty. She picked her way carefully towards the kitchen.  
  
"Kirsty! You okay down there?"  
  
"Yeh, Dad, I'm fine, no worries."  
  
Jade said something in a tearful voice, drawing his attention away from her again. Fascinated by the whispering dark, Kirsty stretched out her arms to stop herself from bumping into anything, slowly making her way to the kitchen window. For a few moments, she gazed happily at the rain lashing furiously down and swirling around the back garden like a river.  
  
And then came a sudden clap of thunder so loud it was like the world had ended, Dani yelled in terror, and a furious fork of lightning struck the tree.  
  
**************  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ha, Suzy got one hell of a bargain, think I'll book a caravan there myself at those rates! ;o) Soz this chapter isn't very good but I've begun work on the third one now and it's funnier...well, it's making me laugh at the moment anyway... :o)) 


	3. Chapter 3

***CHAPTER 3***  
  
Dani's screams woke everyone again. After the fire, Shelley and Rhys Sutherland had half expected Kirsty, who'd seen the lightning strike the tree, to suffer nightmares or for Jade, who was the most timid of their kids, to be more teary and in need of extra cuddles and reassurance at bedtime. But Dani had been the one most affected.  
  
Kirsty had been calm far beyond her tender years, quickly leaving the kitchen, closing the door behind her to slow down the flames like she'd once seen in a television fire safety commercial. Rhys, carrying a sobbing Jade and holding Dani's trembling hand tightly, had never been more relieved to see his brave little daughter.  
  
They had all fled the house together, just as his wife's car happened to be pulling into the street, and a frantic Shelley, without even knowing what was happening, screeched the vehicle to an abrupt halt and instinctively raced to protect her family. Even while the flames were shooting up into the sky behind their home, Kirsty hadn't been afraid. Nobody had been hurt and the firefighters were on their way, Kirsty reasoned, so what was there to have a hissyfit about? Kirsty's calm had had a calming effect on Jade, who always picked up on her twin's moods, and she was recovering from the shock of the fire unexpectedly quickly. Dani however gave her parents most cause for concern.  
  
When the sudden blinding flash of lightning had lit up the room and the almighty crash of thunder almost deafened them, Rhys had been lifting Jade into his arms. Dani had yelled in fright and run to the window to find out what was happening, seen the flames hungrily engulfing the tree, and begun screaming hysterically that they didn't know where her mother and Kirsty were. Several times in the weeks since she had the same nightmare. That a terrifying crash of thunder turned the whole world to night and Kirsty and Shelley disappeared into its darkness.  
  
*****  
  
"They're here now," Kane said, watching wide-eyed.  
  
Scott wondered if he was doing that creepy voice on purpose to try and scare him. He sounded like the kid in the Poltergeist movie when she announced the spirits were inside the television.  
  
Kane had told him, under pain of death when Scott demanded to know why he spat the dummy over Dad stashing the booze in the boxroom, that the ghosts who liked to hang out there wouldn't be very happy about it. Scotty wasn't sure he believed in ghosts, but his kid bro was pretty convincing - and when they were drunk Mum and Dad frequently saw and heard things that weren't there. When Kane casually mentioned that he'd always seen ghosts in their own bedroom too, Scotty had slid his head under the duvet, pretending the moonlight filtering through the thin curtain was keeping him awake. He and Kane had reached an understanding over Scott's latest threat to kill him while he slept. Scotty would let him off the hook provided Kane paid him ten bucks. Kane was robbing things from shops and desperately selling them off in the school playground to pay him in instalments, unaware Scott was considering doubling the price.   
  
"What they doing now?" Scott asked warily.  
  
"Flying 'cross the walls and ceiling and they got torches."  
  
"Torches?!" Scotty was no expert but, from what he'd heard, the average ghost did not go a-haunting while carrying a torch. He pushed back the duvet and looked up at the ceiling. "It's ******* car headlights, ya dork!"  
  
"Ah. Right." Kane digested the information uneasily. If the ghosts in this room had turned out to be car headlights, it was almost certain the ghosts in the boxroom were just shadows after all, like he'd often tried to tell himself. That was good. Scotty was mad at him again. That was bad.   
  
"You know, if I was you, I'd be more worried 'bout sea monsters," Scott said, leaning his elbow on the pillow and looking at Kane with narrowed eyes. "They're heaps dangerous and they've been known to come far inland as this, and even in people's houses when they're hungry 'nuff."  
  
Sea monsters. Scotty had mentioned them before. Huge sharp-fanged creatures who came out of the water by night and who could slither like rats under doors. Who ate dogs and cats, but mostly liked to eat little kids. Scotty was eleven, too big for them to go after, so he was safe, but Kane wasn't.  
  
"It's a full moon tonight, when they get real hungry and, even worse, suck your blood. Very, very slowly so's you die in agony. If I was you, I wouldn't dare go asleep." Satisfied he'd kept him awake all night, Scott sank back down in his bed to sleep with a clear conscience.  
  
*  
  
The clock had long ticked past midnight. Mum and Dad were yelling at each other downstairs and the waves, if it was the waves, were roaring on the beach. Kane still sat up, watching and listening, the duvet pulled round his shoulders, a small, pale figure shivering in the moonlight.  
  
*****  
  
"We've paaaacked!" the twins' voices floated downstairs.  
  
"Come and see!" Dani called, deciding to turn the words into a song and tapping the banister rail in time to the beat. "Come and see, come and see, come and see!"  
  
Jade screamed, there were two sets of running footsteps and Dani sighed, "Sweeties!"   
  
Rhys and Shelley, who were relaxing after dinner, exchanged amused glances. This promised to be interesting. Since Rhys' parents had suggested taking them on holiday to help them recover from the fire, the girls had lived, breathed and slept Summer Bay. Now it was just two days away Dani, Kirsty and Jade were ecstatic. Luggage had been brought down from the attic and stored in Rhys and Shelley's bedroom, Shelley intended to sort out the packing tomorrow and Bill and Mary Sutherland had visited earlier to discuss the final arrangements, such as Jade using her inhaler, what to do if Dani had another nightmare, and Kirsty's need to wear her Dad's footie team scarf at Saturday kick-off time precisely as apparently this had a direct influence on the result.  
  
Setting their faces to hide their smiles, the adults put down their glasses of wine and marched seriously up the stairs at the generous invitation.  
  
The kids had managed to lift a suitcase on to Rhys and Shelley's bed, where it lay open with its jumbled contents spilling out. What sort of holiday Kirsty, Dani and Jade were planning was anybody's guess. Among very few clothes, were eight pairs of cheap plastic sunnies, several cuddly toys, twenty-two music tapes, a painting-by-numbers poster, a globe of the world, a dance mat, a multi-pack of potato chips, a toy truck, a complete Sydney Swans football kit (to fit girl age 5), a half complete footie album, one toothbrush, and a giant size bottle of family shampoo that had toppled over and was now soaking the pillows in a fresh-smelling green soapy liquid.   
  
"But we can't close the lid," Dani said, proud of their handiwork, trying to separate the babies from their latest tussle by stepping in the middle of them and moving every time one twin moved. Jade was red-faced and had a football tucked under her arm, Kirsty looked grim and had a baby doll tucked under hers.  
  
"She won't give me Abby!" Jade wailed, making another ineffectual grab at the doll.  
  
"She won't give me the footie!" Kirsty fired back.  
  
"Sweeties, there's no way BOTH will fit in the case!" Dani said, and all three did yet another little scuffledance round the room.  
  
As always when the twins were having a blue, Shelley took Jade to one side and Rhys took Kirsty's hand.  
  
"The packing's great," Shelley said diplomatically. "Maybe you can all help when I do the main pack tomorrow. But, Jade, Abby won't be able to breathe in a case. I reckon Gran and Grandad won't mind you all carrying one large item each though so you could carry Abby and, Kirsty, you could carry the football."  
  
"Footies don't need to breathe so I could pack it and carry my bike," Kirsty said, her eyes lighting up at the thought.  
  
"Quit while you're ahead, Kirst," Rhys said with a grin. "Um...one question...why have you packed a globe?"  
  
"We don't have one of those things that tell you where you are when you're lost on a mountain," Dani explained.  
  
"A compass?"  
  
"Yeh, a compass," Dani repeated patiently. Sometimes grown-ups asked some very silly questions when the answer was glaringly obvious.  
  
*****  
  
The round England football that he'd found washed up on the beach went clean through the window, making an almost perfect circle. Kane should have fled but the moment he heard Dad cursing he froze. Weird the thoughts that run through your head when you know you're gonna die. Like they might make money from that broken window. He pictured a queue of people stretching all along the street and down the hilly road, Scotty charging them a dollar each to view the phenomenon of the circle, while Kane sold the soft drinks.  
  
Broken glass was meant to be some random angry, jagged shape, but this break was so clean it was as if the footie had decided to go off exploring on its own, which was a bit mean 'cos till then they'd been real good mates. Other kids didn't hang out with him much 'cos of Scotty and his mates beating up on them all the time, but the footie and Kane had been inseperable. And now it had suddenly made up its mind to go off on its travels and the terrifying figure of Dad was almost on him but he still couldn't move or speak or even breathe.   
  
Not till the crammed space of the cupboard under the stairs, among old newspapers and empty bottles, sweating in the stifling air, a cobweb brushing against his face, not a single patch of light. Then screaming and screaming as the dark closed in on him.  
  
Richie Phillips was listening to the screams as he checked his reflection in the mirror. A few hours locked in the cupboard should toughen up his sooky youngest son. He smoothed back his hair. Jeez, he looked good.  
  
*****  
  
"I hear you're off on holiday!"  
  
Suzy Palmer frowned as she pushed the trolley through the swing doors of the hotel kitchen. She slammed down the pile of trays and noisily unstacked the dirty dishes. "And it's your business...?"  
  
"Hey, just making conversation." Adam Deakin raised his hands as if in surrender. "Sorry if I sounded nosey. I only wanted to say hope you and Jamie have a great time."  
  
Suzy bit her lip, pushing the dishes into the dishwasher and pressing the switch. Why did he always have to be so nice? It would be easier to hate Adam Deakin if he was a total jerk, but he wasn't.  
  
She stole a glance at him expertly chopping up veggies and throwing them in the wok. He made cooking look easy. But then everything in life had come easily to Adam. His family owned a popular restaurant in Western Australia, where he'd learnt his cooking skills, and no worries when he'd decided he wanted to go off backpacking round Oz for a year or so, if he ever ran out of cash all he had to do was ask the oldies to send more. Not that he ever did. It was a matter of pride that he earned every penny for himself.  
  
Yeh, well, like that would impress Suzy. Some people had to work as a waitress because they were desperate for cash, some people had had to drop out of Uni, some people had a kid they loved to death and a bitter memory of the kid's father who'd shot through the moment he found out about the bub. Adam's good looks and green eyes and cute smile, none of it impressed Suzy. She was still off guys - well, except for Jamie and her Dad...oh, yeh, and little Kane. Funny kid, always bragging about his folks and his kid brothers Luke and Jordan, always dreaming about something or other, usually connected with boats. She smiled as she thought of Kane and flushed when she realised she was still looking at Adam, who was grinning back.   
  
Suzy was replaying the memory as she and Jamie waved from the bus window. Although the bus pick-up point was outside the hotel where they both worked, she hadn't expected Adam to see her off, much less to have bought a colouring book and crayons "for when Jamie gets bored on the journey", but it was sweet of him. He was meant to be rostered on a shift and had dashed out of the restaurant still in his chef's hat and apron. Now he was standing by her parents waving and Suzy noticed there was flour on his face and, for some strange reason, noticing that made her heart skip a beat. It was baffling. He was meant to have only stopped over in their town for a week or two, but it was a month now - and he intended to still be around when she got back from the holiday! She just couldn't understand what was keeping him in such a sleepy little place.  
  
*****  
  
The boy with the bright blue eyes was staring across at them as Kirsty looked up from trailing the Sleeping Beauty wand through the soil.  
  
Grandad had bought them a wand each as a surprise when he pretended he had to pop back to the site shop for milk. Kirsty herself would have preferred the plane that she'd seen hanging on the pocket money stand too, but she didn't want to hurt Grandad's feelings by telling him. It had been the only downside to the day. Every single thing about the holiday had been awesome so far, even the journey, especially when Grandad had had to stop the car four times for Jade to chuck up. The last time had been the best because they were closest to Summer Bay and, as well as the usual frantic panic about finding somewhere to stop while Jade made gagging noises into a paper bag, the sea breeze had blown Jade's sick backwards, a fact which Kirsty and Dani had very helpfully yelled back to Grandad in the car at the tops of their voices so he could hear okay above the chatter of the people who were picnicking.  
  
The caravan was exactly like in the brochure with its strange little sets of steps at each door for you to jump down and Kirsty, Dani and Jade had left it pleasantly chaotic after deciding to lend Gran and Grandad a hand with the unpacking until Gran had suggested they all left it for a while and went to the kids' playground. They were on their way back, yawning now, Dani and Jade waving the wands to magic everyone dreams, running on ahead because they couldn't wait to sleep in a house on wheels, Gran and Grandad browsing through the Summer Bay tourist guide booklet, and Kirsty sleepily trailing the wand, when the lights went on everywhere and she looked up and saw him.  
  
That was what it was like for other kids. He'd have liked that, what these kids had...not the wands, no way, nor the sooky running,nor...Jeez, he didn't know what it was. Something.   
  
The cooling air from the sea carried the scent of flowers as it sighed gently through the trees and one by one the stars began to glisten in a darkening sky. The kid lagging behind had her head bent as she trailed the wand and every now and again one of the oldies would turn to check on her, and every once in a while one of the kids in front would run back to say something, and it wasn't what they said or the way they looked or how many times they laughed or anything, but there was...that mysterious something.  
  
Maybe it would have been like that for him if he'd been smart or cute or real good. But he wasn't any of those things, he was a useless drongo like Mum, Dad and Scotty said, so it was his own fault he didn't have what other kids had. He was about to turn away when, as if agreeing on some secret signal, the caravan site's ornamental lamps suddenly flickered alight in silent unison, and the kid dragging the wand looked up.  
  
"Hey," she said, smiling. Her smile was like sunlight.  
  
Kirsty didn't know how she knew, but she knew. It was in the boy's blue eyes. He had the same restless longing to be free as the wind and the sea, the same dream of touching the moon and the stars. As if he too had seen something terrible as a tree struck by lightning never allowed to blossom and grow.  
  
********************  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Just thought you might like to know that "round" broken window really did happen when I was a kid, with a soft rubber ball that my friend and I were fooling around with. Um...I'm sure you'll sleep better knowing that! ;o)  
  
Okay, this is meant to be a prequel so it should end here where the other fic begins. But I did say four or five chapters so I've been working on the next chapter. That's the good news. The bad news is I've had writer's block. I didn't want to rewrite AAF so it was difficult getting round that and I think chapter 4 rambles without going anywhere. If enough ppl still want to read it though, I'll try and do a bit more work and post it in about a week or so, then hopefully maybe round things off in a final chapter. Otherwise I'll make this the end and just say hope you enjoyed reading, soz it had to be short! :o) 


	4. Chapter 4

***AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, I did a bit more work, but I think you'll see what I mean, it still comes across as rambling. I PROMISE I'll do a final chapter but I have LOADS of work to do on that so not sure when the update will be. Also it will take a huge leap in time to when everyone's going home (and beyond)...AAF happened somewhere inbetween!! ;o)  
  
***CHAPTER 4***  
  
"Changed your allegiance, huh, Kane?" Suzy teased, smiling, though she couldn't help feeling a teensy bit jealous of the Sutherlands.  
  
She told herself it was on behalf of Jamie, but she knew it wasn't. Suzy missed Kane's funny little stories about what he was going to be when he grew up while Jamie had a whole new set of playmates now Suzy had discovered a place in Summer Bay that had started a part-time holiday play club for under fives. A nominal fee because it was a pilot scheme, reduced rates for single parents and free day trips for Jamie - of course Suzy had signed up immediately!  
  
Allegiance. What the hell was that? It must be clothes. You changed clothes. What puzzled Kane was how she knew. He'd been thinking he was gonna have to try washing something tonight because, apart from a little kid style one with cutesy pictures on it, he'd finally run out of clean shirts this morning and had sorted through the washbasket and chosen one he'd worn a few days ago. He didn't know what else to do because normally Mum took care of things like that but she was still away - acting like a fruitcake somewhere else, Scotty said. It was only then it occurred to Kane that Mum might be an actress. He sometimes watched an American televison show where the guy was an actor but could only ever get acting work in commercials dressed as something like a tree or a tomato and every week something funny happened because of it. Maybe Mum was an actress who could only ever get acting work playing the cake. Now Mrs Palmer wanted to know had he changed his allegiance he had to be very careful how he answered - Dad did his block if you ever told anyone what was happening at home.  
  
"Um...not yet, but I am gonna," he said cautiously. "But I'm not gonna wear allegiance like Jamie's 'cos that'd be too babyish though it's cool if you're two, right, Jamie, mate?"  
  
Suzy was totally perplexed, but decided not to push it. It sounded like one of his wild and wonderful sea captain yarns. She waved as he ran up the Sutherland caravan steps, nodded g'day to Bill Sutherland who answered the door, grinned as little Kirsty, talking nineteen to the dozen, took Kane's hand and led him inside. Then she turned and sighed. Much as Jamie loved the under-fives club and therefore there was no way she would have him miss out, it left Suzy feeling surplus to requirements. And, though she was off guys and didn't want to think about Adam, she kept on thinking about Adam. She sighed again. If only her life was as simple as Kane and Kirsty's.  
  
*****  
  
"Kirrrsty!" Bill Sutherland said at last.  
  
Kirsty had started talking the moment she woke and hadn't paused for breath since. Right now she and Kane had their collection of footie cards spread out on the table, deeply involved in some complicated game about leagues and championships that apparently required them both to talk non-stop as loudly as posible.  
  
Dani and Jade were showing off a new dance to their Gran and Abby, and every so often the caravan swayed slightly, especially when Jade kept deciding to suddenly improvise with random twirls and jumps that had nothing whatsoever to do with the song Dani was singing or even dancing in general.  
  
"Sweeeetie!" Dani said, a fraction of a second after her grandad had spoken, stopping her own dancing to place her hands on her hips and shake her head despairingly at Mary and Bill. "What ARE we going to do with the babies?"  
  
"Um...we'll think of something," Bill said, trying not to laugh.  
  
"Anyway, guys, we better start getting ready for our day out now Kane's here," Mary said, deciding it was time to wash the breakfast dishes that had been soaking in the plastic washing-up bowl.  
  
Kane grinned happily. He'd been coming round to the Sutherland's van almost every day now and they still didn't suspect Suzy Palmer wasn't his Mum. Meeting Kirsty was the best thing that had ever happened to him.  
  
*****  
  
"So THAT was little Ben Smith!" Rhys said, after they'd bumped into the Smith family at the shopping mall cafe. "I knew the name rang a bell even though I couldn't place him when Kirsty brought the choccie home. He's one of Kirsty's footie team gang, right?"  
  
"Her latest signing," Shelley smiled. Right from kindy, most of Kirsty's mates had been boys. "I felt a bit mean telling his Mum they were having a great time when she asked if the girls were having a good holiday. I got the impression Ben was rather hoping I'd say Kirsty was missing him."  
  
"I'm missing her heaps myself," Rhys said, pulling the Summer Bay postcard out of his wallet to re-read yet again. "All three of them."  
  
"We did the right thing, letting them go," Shelley said. "Dani hasn't had any more nightmares despite the fire at the holiday shop, Jade sounded much more confident last time we spoke on the phone and Kirsty...well, Kirsty's Kirsty."  
  
"Yup, one holiday romance, one boy pining at home," Rhys grinned. "That's good going, even for Kirsty."   
  
*****  
  
"The wave making machine!" Kane and Kirsty agreed.  
  
"And steering the ship's wheel," Kane added, his eyes shining. "And the big ships and the little ships and the movie about the ship on a stormy sea and the pretend submarine and looking through the telescope and..."  
  
"I liked the phones best," Dani interrupted, because Kane would have gone on forever. "Except when they did the talking 'cos that was boring and they wouldn't listen to me when I talked back, it was only good when they played the music."  
  
"That was a recording of the letters people wrote home when they first emigrated to Australia in the old days, Dan, and the music was sea shanties the sailors sang," said Bill Sutherland, smiling at his wife. The museum attendant had been a bit startled when Dani had suggested the museum would be much improved if they got rid of all the models of the emigrants and made room for a dance floor.  
  
"What about you, Jade? What did you like best?" Mary asked because Jade, carrying Abby as usual, was looking anxiously down through the wooden pier at the water swirling beneath them.  
  
"The colouring in," Jade said decidedly, which made both Mary and Bill laugh.   
  
'Draw what you've seen today' the girl in charge of the educational project had said. Jade had drawn a dog.  
  
'No...' the girl had tried to explain. Jade had drawn Grandad's car.   
  
'No...' the girl had said again. In the end a picture of Abby had gone up on the wall alongside the other hundred or so pictures of ships and sea-related museum exhibits.  
  
"All in all, a pretty good day out," Mary said.  
  
They had been apprehensive about taking the girls to a maritime museum, even though other parents on the caravan site had highly recommended it, though of course they'd had no such qualms about Kane, who loved anything to do with ships.  
  
Now Kane and Kirsty, inseperable as usual, were heading the queue to board the boat for the short trip round the pier, their arms still aching from turning the wheel of the wave making machine, which was a very long box filled with water and a model ship. Turning the wheel agitiated the water and the ship had experienced a very turbulent crossing when Kane and Kirsty took the helm, inventing half a dozen stories that always involved Kane heroically captaining the ship safely to port without losing a single life and Kirsty, made second-in-command, heroically swimming out to rescue the imaginary people who fell off because they were standing on deck, idly watching, what was, according to Kirsty and Kane, the worst storm ever in the history of the world.  
  
*****  
  
"Suzy!"  
  
Adam sounded stoked and her heart skip a beated like it had done that day on the bus. She pictured him as she'd last seen him, with flour on his face and in his chef's uniform, though she knew he wouldn't be at work now. It was gone seven o'clock and this week he was rostered on the hotel's early shift which finished at three. At least, The Welcome House liked to call itself a hotel, but it did have delusions of grandeur.  
  
It consisted of just twenty small plain guest rooms, one of which was Adam's, allocated at staff discount rates on the understanding that, if The Welcome House ever became full, Adam would temporarily vacate it and sleep in the staff rest area down in the basement. Not that this was ever likely to happen, anyone who ever stayed at The Welcome House was inevitably only passing through and its main claim to fame was its restaurant.  
  
"How's the man in your life?" he added.  
  
"I think I've been dumped," Suzy grinned.  
  
"You're kidding! Jamie's found someone else?"  
  
"Jamie's found a whole lot of someone elses. He's in a play club now. And I think the other man in my life may have dumped me too."  
  
For some reason, Adam paused before replying. "Ahh! I didn't realise...uh...there was someone."  
  
"I meant Kane."  
  
"Oh, right! The little kid with the all the sailing away to sea stories?" Adam was suddenly more cheerful, like he was smiling. "The one with the kid brothers?"  
  
"Um...yeh." It was sweet of Adam to remember though Suzy hadn't realised she talked to him quite so much. "Look, the real reason I'm ringing is Mum and Dad. I've just been talking to Mum and she sounded so tired and she says Dad's fine, but, well, he didn't sound too chipper to me. I wondered if you wouldn't mind keeping an eye on them? I know I could ask one of my girlfriends but the hotel's nearer and..." Her voice trailed off. There were half a dozen friends she could easily have turned to and she knew it. Why was she asking Adam?  
  
"No worries, I've been calling round anyway and getting them groceries."  
  
"Thanks, Adam. You're a good mate."  
  
"Yeh, well, Suze, that's what friends are for."  
  
Did he say that like he was sad or was it her imagination? Maybe he'd been thinking about Helen, the girl who'd cheated on him with his mate and the reason, he told Suzy, he'd decided to go backpacking. They talked for a little while longer about her parents before Suzy hung up the payphone and looked again at Jamie.  
  
Her heart lurched with love for him. He looked so cute and cosy, fast asleep in his buggy, no doubt dreaming of cartoons or feeding ducks and all that other kids stuff, not a care in the world. Life was so much easier when you were a kid, she thought. So innocent, so sweet. Nothing to disturb your quiet, gentle slumber.  
  
*****  
  
That was the second person had their head blown off. One stepped on a mine, two copped it in enemy gunfire. Made five people dead now...well, maybe six 'cos it looked like the guy who'd been crawling along with his face a mish-mash of blood wasn't gonna make it though they hadn't shown him cark it yet. Kane stared at the television screen, desperately trying to lose himself in the late night movie.  
  
He'd climbed in through the kitchen window as usual, but he couldn't go to bed. Scotty wouldn't let him upstairs because he was busy stashing stolen stuff where no one else would find it. Dad was out, so was Mum, who hadn't been home in days and was probably still playing the cake in some show. His knuckles were white from holding on to the remote with one hand and a torch with the other, the only sources of light, and he was terrified of the Dark since Dad had locked him in the cupboard under the stairs, but he couldn't risk switching the light on in case he got caught.  
  
He glanced dejectedly at the bundle of washing sitting on the sofa next to him. He'd been getting some things out of the washbasket when Scotty, who didn't have a problem with laundry because he was borrowing clobber from mates, chased him back down. It was gonna have to be done somehow. Mrs Palmer had noticed Kane hadn't changed his allegiance yet and she might start asking questions and then Dad would bash him for dobbing him in. Kane stood up reluctantly and, to give himself a sense of normality, took a final look at the movie where a shot down plane plummetted from the sky into the crocodile-infested swamp and two more people died, before he clicked off the remote, picked up the washing and braved the dark kitchen.  
  
The washing machine was a mystery. He shone the torch for several minutes across its dial and buttons and round and round its silent drum like a suspicious cop considering its arrest. How the hell were you supposed to start it? All he knew was that Mum always seemed to be in the kitchen smoking and boiling the kettle whenever the washing was spinning round.   
  
Maybe that was the key. He shone the torch over on his next suspect, the kettle, trying hard to concentrate and ignore the dark closing in on him. Maybe you had to switch on the kettle and it somehow connected the washing machine and to time it you had to smoke a ciggie and cuss like Mum did. Okay, the cussing part, that was easy, but he'd never smoked before though he knew Scotty had some ciggies upst... A door banged, making him jump. The television set burst loudly into life as Richie Phillips stumbled drunkenly about in the other room, its grey light flickering under the gap in the uneven kitchen door. Hoping he'd pass the night unnoticed, Kane gave up on the idea of doing his own laundry and slid down into the gap between the washing machine and the sink to sleep, shining the torch down on the floor so that there was a reassuring pool of light, clutching a bundle of washing.  
  
*****  
  
Bill Sutherland didn't believe a word of it, of course. He was still teasing Mary now they were back in the caravan and the kids asleep in bed. The temporary funfair had been set up a short drive away from the maritime museum and as they weren't doing the long drive to the theme park till next week they'd decided to while away a couple of hours checking out its craft fair, exhibitions and half-dozen rides.  
  
Mary hadn't been able to resist the blue and white tent advertising Madam Zena's incredible psychic powers though Bill scoffed it was a waste of money. Bill reckoned only the gullible believed in it all while Mary prided herself on having an open mind. Perhaps, if they'd known what the future held a few days ago, they could somehow have prevented the fire at the caravan site shop and saved Betty Thomas so much heartache, Mary had argued.  
  
Bill chuckled. "No one can see into the future, Mary. If they could, they'd all win the lotto and never have to tell fortunes for a living anymore!"  
  
Mary herself had been very impressed with Madam Zena, though Bill kept coming up with an answer for everything she'd said. Mary was married (her wedding ring), they were on holiday (well, anyone could tell they were on holiday, what with their cameras and holiday souvenirs, and why else would they be strolling round a funfair with four kids?), that she had grandchildren (couldn't miss them, they were outside the tent and saying Gran and Grandad).  
  
"But she said Kane wasn't our grandson. How could she know that?"  
  
Bill was growing more and more amused. "Amazing powers of deduction! Maybe because Kane never once called us Gran or Grandad?"  
  
"I didn't like that prediction about Kane. Remember what I told you?" Mary got up to pour herself another cuppa from the caravan's old-fashioned large silver teapot, but her hand shook as she tried to pour the tea and she set it down again. "About him hurting one of our granddaughters."  
  
Bill was too busy laughing, tying a hanky round his head. "Think I look the part, Maz? You know, I reckon I could make a go of this fortune telling business too if I tried..." He placed his fingers on his forehead as if seeking inspiration and rolled his eyes... "Yessss, I see Jade crying because she thinks Kane got more lollies than she did...I see Kane and Kirsty having a blue over a footie team..."  
  
"I love Dani, Kirsty and Jade so much and the idea of any one of them being hurt..."   
  
To Bill's consternation, his wife gave a sudden sob and he guiltily jumped up to hug her. "I'm sorry, love, just having a lend of you. Never do know when to quit, do I?"  
  
"No, Bill, I'M sorry. I'm being silly." Mary sniffled back the tears. "I'm too long in the tooth to believe in fairground fortune tellers."  
  
"Reckon we're both a bit bushed, what with looking after the terrible trio and Kane as well. What say you WE deserve to be pampered for a change? Don't tell the kids, let's make a fresh brew and stuff ourselves with the whole lot of these biccies!" Bill winked as he took a packet of their favourite cookies out of the cupboard, making Mary laugh.  
  
Though Bill hadn't seen the fortune teller's expression when she'd spread the cards on the little white-clothed table nor heard Madam Zena's sudden sharp intake of breath.  
  
Mary couldn't shake off a dreadful sense of foreboding. 


	5. Chapter 5

Soz for the long delay in updating, combination of not much spare time, computer breakdown and the fact Chapter 5 was getting waaay too long...so decided to split it. Hope to have the sixth and final chapter up within the week! :o)  
  
***CHAPTER 5***  
  
"Kirsty, sweetheart!" Mary said helplessly. All she could do was give her little granddaughter another cuddle. Let her know they were there for her. Like the Sutherland family always would be there for one another.  
  
Tears of sympathy were raining quietly down Jade's cheeks and Dani was trying to console both Kirsty and Jade while sniffling herself.  
  
"Hey, c'mon, kids, your Mum and Dad will think going on holiday was the worst thing that could ever have happened to you!" Bill said, trying to lighten the mood as he set down the tray of drinks.  
  
But Kirsty was inconsolable, great shuddering sobs racking the little girl's body. Other diners in the motorway service station stared curiously, wondering at her distress.   
  
"But, Grandad, Kane promised..." Kirsty shook her head despairingly, hiccuping back tears.  
  
"I know, pet," Bill said gently.  
  
No, nobody knew. Nobody dreamed how happy Kirsty had been when she was with Kane, how they believed together they could touch the moon and stars, how they wanted to run faster than anyone had ever run, climb higher than anyone had ever climbed. He had said he would be there on the last day of their holiday and he hadn't even waited. Yet deep in her heart, no matter what Gran and Grandad thought, she knew he didn't take the things from the caravan and he would have been there if he could. And all she wanted, all she ever wanted, was to be once again with the boy with the bright blue eyes.   
  
Bill and Mary exchanged a look. Kane had let them all down. Told a pack of lies about Suzy Palmer being his mother, stolen from them, broken Kirsty's heart in two. Mary squeezed Kirsty's hand, remembering Madam Zena's words.  
  
"There is a strong warning here about the little boy. He will hurt one of your granddaughters very badly," the fortune teller had said, looking at the cards spread out on the little table. And then she had taken a sharp breath, looked up at Mary and would say no more. Mary would never visit any more fortune tellers. Perhaps it was better to never know what the future held.  
  
*****  
  
It was almost midnight when the bus pulled into the sleepy little town. Suzy and Jamie were the only passengers to alight, most of the others having departed at busy coach stations along the way, just a few straggly, tired travellers left behind now.  
  
Jamie was cranky, having been woken from a deep sleep, and Suzy exhaustedly struggled to carry him and her hand luggage, blinking in the light of the Welcome House hotel, the bus's designated stop. She was desperately hoping that she'd be able to manage the large suitcase and bag that the driver was taking out of the hold because, though her parents had arranged to meet her, there was no way she was going to have either of them carrying anything heavy.  
  
"Here," said a warm, soft voice as Jamie was lifted from her arms. "I told your Mum and Dad to wait in the hotel foyer because it's a bit chilly tonight. Don't worry about phoning a cab, I've borrowed a mate's car to take you guys home."  
  
"Adam!" It was so good to see him again. They had talked on the phone almost every day, about her parents, about Suzy cremating everything she tried to cook, about Kane and the Sutherlands, about a hundred and one different things.  
  
Jamie's tear-stained face broke into a wide smile. "Daddy!"  
  
It wasn't the first time Jamie had called Adam Daddy and at first, as usual, Suzy apologised and at first, as usual, Adam looked embarrassed - but then, without either of them knowing how it happened, they were laughing and she found herself thinking he had lovely green twinkling eyes and he wondered if she knew just how much he'd missed her and suddenly they kissed and the kiss felt so right. Like it was always meant to be.  
  
Suzy locked her fingers in Adam's as they walked up the steps of the hotel. She had a lot to tell him about this holiday, what Jamie had done and said, how upset she'd been about little Kane's lies and stealing. So much to talk about and so many dreams to dream together.  
  
*****  
  
Scott was feeling smug when he finally unlocked the storeroom door of the burnt-out shop. Kane had to learn to cop it sweet if he ever crossed Scotty and he'd crossed him big time by refusing to set the caravan on fire and running off with the matches. Scotty was determined to teach his kid bro not to be such a sook and survive in the real world. You took before things were taken from you, attacked before you were attacked, in Scott's school of life. Kane graduated sooner than he expected.  
  
All the anger that had been slow-burning inside him ever since he could remember culminated in the moment daylight flooded back into the storeroom and he saw Scott leaning confidently in the doorway, arms folded lazily, smirking because he was about to give Kane another bashing. Until a mini tornado charged out, headbutting him in the stomach, rocking him off balance.  
  
"You ******* ..." Scott began. Then he looked at his kid bro in sudden admiration.   
  
None of the usual sooky tears, his face blazing with fury, Kane was standing over him, panting, fist clenched, ready to take a swing at him if Scott fought back, though he had Buckley's of beating him. Jeez, maybe there was hope for him after all. He might even be some use next time Scotty and his mates pulled off a scam, he was small enough to squeeze through windows or look innocent enough if a stickybeak cop started asking awkward questions.  
  
"Reckon your spending the arvo in here makes us quits," Scott said, hauling himself to his feet and dusting himself down. "So's how about we do a deal on the stuff we nicked from the van? I'll cut you in, say, a quarter of whatever we sell."   
  
"I get half," Kane said firmly, his eyes cold.  
  
"Done," Scott said, impressed, rapping his little brother's head in friendly fashion, though it still hurt. "Half each."  
  
"Half each," Kane agreed.  
  
He didn't want half. Or any. It would have stuck in his throat to take anything at all from Kirsty's Gran and Grandad or Kirsty, Jade and Dani. But he knew Scotty would double deal and refuse to hand over the cash later anyway. The important thing right now was for nobody to ever again think Kane was a pushover because he was on his own against the world. And this aching inside him that hurt far worse than any of Dad or Scott's bashings ever could, because he was aching for a kid with a magic smile, was part of the sookiness that had to be hidden away forever. 


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6  
  
Standing at the very top of the hill, on the edge Summer Bay, the house was one of several built almost a hundred years ago as the little fishing port turned into a popular seaside town, when grand houses, with iron gates that opened on to magnificent drives and large, well-kept gardens, reflected its new-found wealth. In those days only the very richest could afford one of the "hill houses", as they were commonly known, and young couples would often stroll there, to admire the sweeping views of the Bay, and to dream longingly of owning a hill house themselves. But times and fortunes change. Over many years gates rusted, brickwork crumbled, and once beautiful gardens became over-run with tangled weeds. Some of the properties were converted into rundown flats, some were left derelict, and the population changed rapidly and constantly. When the Phillips family moved in the houses had acquired a new nickname. They were the "hell houses", inhabited by junkies, ex-crims, hard drinkers and the desperately poor. And the kids who grew up there.  
  
Kane went in the way he always used to. Through the open kitchen window, hands pressed on the sill, swinging himself inside. Except now it was easier, he was taller, his grip more firm, his footing more sure. Yet, strangely, the old fear rushed back. Somewhere, in the scurrying of mice or cockroaches, in the smell of damp and wood chippings, in the cold, cold emptiness, he could still be that scared little kid again.  
  
He looked around at the walls dimmed brown with time. It had been on a whim, as he drove past and saw the notice of demolition work soon to begin on the abandoned area, that he'd parked the car and made his way to his old home. He'd last been in here somewhere around the time...jeez, he didn't want to think about it, but it was there, something he had to face, something he was. Had been, he told himself, drawing a deep breath, he'd never hurt anyone like that again. He remembered the confusion as he packed what little there was to take, feeling his life was spiralling out of control, fleeing to his Aunt Rose's in Yabbie Creek, and the overwhelming relief when she didn't turn him away. He had his life together now thanks to Kirsty.  
  
The hatred of Summer Bay had been turned around and he was accepted, even liked, by the very same people who once wouldn't have given him as much as the time of day. He smiled when he thought of Kirsty. They had run away to marry, unofficially, and, despite many problems and the Sutherland's disapproval, they'd been happy enough though Kirsty yearned for a wedding day her family could share. And now the Sutherlands had accepted Kane and it was actually going to happen she was stoked. They had each had their bucks and hens party, the champagne was on ice, the wedding cake waiting to be cut. They would exchange the same rings, wear the same outfits, but this time everyone would be at the wedding, in a church. Kane had almost choked on his toast when she'd first mentioned that and Kirsty needed to pat his back for several minutes.  
  
He stopped coughing at last. "A church, Kirst? You know I don't do churches."  
  
"Please, Kane. For me. I never was a girly girl, and, I never told Jade or Dani, but I always, always dreamed of a big white church wedding."  
  
He never thought he'd agree, never thought he'd ever set foot inside a church, but she'd talked him round within days. Because all she ever had to do was smile that magic smile.   
  
This wedding, this big white church wedding, was the start of a new tomorrow, Kirsty said. And yet he was here, in a house that echoed with yesterdays, as if he could never let go of his past.  
  
Dani had hoped the nightmares would stop after the counselling and mediation sessions, but even now, years after the event, even though months might pass by without a single bad dream, the memory would suddenly return to haunt her.   
  
Sometimes a nightmare would mix itself in with shipwrecks or thunder or the terrible, terrible days when Kirsty and Shelley were missing somewhere in the blackness of the thunderstorm. Kane Phillips, of all people, had saved their lives, but Dani never once saw him as Kirsty did, not in the nightmares. In the clear light of day she could talk with Kane, uneasily, preferably with someone else around, because they were both making a huge effort and she didn't hate him anymore. She knew something now about his horrific childhood, not everything because he never really opened up about it to anyone but Kirsty, but enough to form a bond. Kane and herself both had a traumatic past they were desperate to overcome.  
  
She'd been thinking about that as she went to bed the night before Kirsty and Kane's official wedding. The couple had lived together at Irene's ever since they'd eloped to marry but now Kirsty wanted the whole family to share her special day. Jade, who'd been so touched when Kirsty said she wanted her to be bridesmaid because, to Kirsty, Jade would always be her real twin, was home for the wedding and they were sharing their old room. When Dani, yawning, sleepy from the wine they'd been sharing, had finally said she had to get some sleep they were still giggling together like schoolkids. Maybe that was why she dreamed she was a kid again.  
  
Laughing, standing outside a blue-and-white tent advertising fortune telling, listening to the happy, exciting sounds of the fairground, smelling hot dogs cooking, feeling the sun's warm breath on her back. Then the dream slipped suddenly into a nightmare.  
  
Large black clouds darkened the world and heavy raindrops fell so furiously they were bouncing back as soon as they hit the ground. And then the roaring of thunder and yellow lightning tearing apart the sky. Now Dani was lost in the storm, on a deserted coast road, and panicking because someone else was there. She tried to scream but no sound came and the familiar ice cold fear ran through every fibre of her being.  
  
But it wasn't Kane. It couldn't be Kane because he was the small boy gazing   
  
out to sea, sitting all alone on the wooden log fence at the top of the beach, drenched and shivering in the pouring rain. Slowly she turned and to her amazement saw it was Gran, Dad's Mum, who'd died when Dani was about nine or ten, and she was smiling, watching someone walking slowly towards them. Grandad, who'd died too just six months later, Dani remembered everyone saying it was of a broken heart. The reason he was walking so slowly was because of little Jade, clutching his hand and "walking" a doll. Then the dream changed abruptly again and Dani was on the beach below, searching frantically for Kirsty. And then at last she saw her!  
  
There, high, high above, walking on the treacherously slippy log fence towards Kane. They were both just kids and oblivious to the danger, Kirsty giggling, hair flying back in the wind, arms outstretched to keep her balance, Kane climbing up to help her, and below them the hard, jagged rocks and the wild, stormy grey sea...  
  
...And Dani shouting and shouting and shouting so loud but they couldn't or wouldn't hear...  
  
"Hey, Dan," Kirsty said anxiously, her hand on her shoulder.   
  
"You were yelling for Kirsty." Jade sat on the other side of the bed, just as worried.  
  
"And Kane too," Kirsty whispered. "Once or twice you shouted his name, but mostly you screamed for me to come back. Dani, you ARE okay about me marrying Kane, aren't you? Please, please say you're okay."  
  
"It was just a weird dream. We were all kids, even Kane, he was somehow mixed up in it too," Dani said, sitting up, blinking back sleep, avoiding the question because she had to, and forcing a smile so they'd think everything was alright. "I dreamt Gran and Grandad had brought us here on holiday to Summer Bay. Don't know why I should be dreaming about that, all I can remember about it now is something about being in the car and us three playing dancing on the beach."  
  
"I think I remember a doll and someone thinking it was a real baby!" Jade grinned.  
  
"And after that holiday I used to have those dreams when I woke up crying, you remember Jade, you'd come over to see if I was okay, and, Dani, you'd come in too, and whenever one of us was upset we all always used to..."  
  
Giggling from the wine, they high-fived each other together just like they used to when small.  
  
"Didn't we use to yell something as well?" Dani asked. "What was it?"  
  
"I know, I know, it was cool chicks!"  
  
"Omigod, never!" Jade laughed.  
  
"Dunno what you're laughing at, Jade, you always got it wrong and shouted cool chooks instead!" Kirsty grinned.  
  
"Cool chicks, that was going to be the name of our group, wasn't it?" Dani smiled, amused. "Whatever happened to that dream?"  
  
"Guess we grew up," Jade said.  
  
"Guess so."  
  
"Nope. Jade'll never grow up. Cool chooks! Jade, you're a dag but I loves ya!"   
  
"Same to you, Kirst! C'mon, guys, once more..."  
  
"Cool chicks!" they yelled, high fiving one another.  
  
"Cool chooks!" Jade added, falling back on the pillow, with tears of laughter raining down her face.  
  
When the twins, because they always would be the twins even though they knew now about Laura, Dani drew her knees up to her chin and sat staring at the moonlight. What if the dream had been a warning? She'd tried to get on with her life, but in the darkness the nightmares would still come to haunt her. Perhaps they always would. And she didn't know if she could do this. She didn't know if she could stand back and watch Kirsty marry the boy who'd hurt her so very, very much.  
  
Kane sat at the hidden, halfway point of the stairs, where he'd sat so often in the past trying to make himself invisible, afraid to go upstairs in case Scotty bashed him, afraid to go downstairs because Mum and Dad were punching each other and were likely to punch him too. And so he would sit on these rickety stairs, teeth clenched, eyes shut tight, fists blocking his ears, holding on to the picture in his mind, because it was all he had, that dream of the sea and the cry of the gulls and the waves rolling and crashing.  
  
He shook himself and carried on, automatically skipping the creaky third from top stair, still listening out for the ghosts of his childhood. The air of abandonment was even greater upstairs, years of unopened windows, of closed doors, the musty smell clogging his nostrils, the dust creeping into his throat.  
  
Everything was just as the Phillips had left it, the old broken furniture, the "I" shaped crack in the boxroom door, the smeared blood stain where he'd brushed his hand against the wall running from Dad, the memory so vivid after all these years...  
  
"Mum, I only said why didn't ya hit Dad back anymore, that's all I said, tell him I didn't mean it!"  
  
"I ain't tellin' your Dad nothin', ya whingin' piker!" She was holding the left side of her face and finding it difficult to talk because of the broken teeth, and she pushed him away, saving herself, leaving him to catch the sting of Dad's belt.  
  
"I'll learn ya to question what I do, ya cur!"  
  
The buckle had sliced into his ear and he ran in desperation, somewhere, anywhere, rattling the handle of the door.  
  
"Oh, jeez, Scotty, open up! Scotty, you gottoo!"  
  
" off, I'm not letting him in here when he's like that!" Scott murmured, from behind the safety of the kitchen, where he'd locked himself soon as Dad flew into the drunken rage.  
  
"Muuum! Muuuuummm, help me!"  
  
She only glanced at him, eyes glazed drunkenly, and he made for the stairs, stumbling as he reached the landing, scraping the heel of his hand, bloodied from trying to protect himself, looking back in despair, knowing there was nowhere left to run...  
  
The memory of those beatings could still make his blood run cold as ice. In the dead of the night, just when he thought the past was buried forever, even now he would wake up screaming and Kirsty would hold him tight, whispering soothing words, rocking him gently. Once, it was not long after the mine disaster, he'd laughed ironically and said Max had called him a hero, what would he think to see him now? And Kirsty kissed him softly and said Max got it right, he was a hero, he always would be her hero and when they had kids he'd be their hero too.  
  
They'd been talking more and more about having kids lately. Kirsty knew how much he dreamed of being a dad, of giving his own kids everything he'd missed out on. Being the dad he wished his own could have been. For old time's sake, for the kid who never had anyone to care, he sat on the old wooden dresser in the boxroom, gazing out of the window, thinking back to the past.  
  
The thick grime and drizzling rain blurred the view, the misty green sea and the moody blue sky merged like running paint. Some vague dream stirred, but never quite woke. A long ago summer, a spoilt painting of the sea, a feeling something magic briefly touched his life. The memory had flown now. He could remember a little kid called Jamie, playing in the caravan park, sitting on the beach watching ships go by...but mostly only the nightmares came back.  
  
He wished he could have known back then that someone would love him so much. Maybe if he had, a lot of things wouldn't have happened that did. He felt he didn't deserve to be happy after what happened with Dani but Kirsty never once stopped believing in him.  
  
It could have been tears and not the rain that blurred the view of the sea. Because he knew if he ever lost Kirsty he would crumble and die.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The chapter after this one will be the final. Soz about the earlier confusion with chapters but I don't plan stories, I just sort of have a vague idea and go for it. In this case, all I knew about this story was I liked the title and had a couple of lines I wanted to use so...um... it wasn't much to go on. I've got the last scene in my head now and will start working on the last chapter soon as I can :o) 


	7. chapter 7

AUTHOR'S NOTE   
  
Forsooth, noooo, but thanks anyway! :o))) (Private joke between me and some reviewers) Seriouly, if you look hard enough you can find faults with both this story and AAF.  
  
Anyway, you guessed it, the chapter got too long! I haven't had time to work on the final scenes yet but I have an extra day off work after the bank holiday so hopefully I'll finish then.  
  
CHAPTER 7  
  
And, after a while, after a while on that perfect day, after the friendly blue of whether or not the sea was whispering always or forever and agreeing it must be saying both, the two kids on the shore tired of kicking water over each other, and sank exhaustedly into the warm golden sand, soaking wet and laughing.  
  
"I'll swim in the ocean one day!" Kirsty said, when finally she caught her breath again.   
  
"I'll wave to you from my ship," Kane promised.  
  
Kirsty was stoked. Partly because she loved the idea of Kane waving to her from his ship, partly because his face was glowing like it did whenever he told tales of the sea. She listened, fascinated.  
  
When Bill Sutherland began calling it was time for them to go back, they were both still lost in the dreams and the sound of the sea. They could hear Kirsty's Grandad shouting and knew Jade and Dani, who'd been playing some game of filling buckets with shells and sand, were helping Kirsty's Gran pack up, but it was as if that all happened a long way away, a long time ago.  
  
"When I grow up, I'll swim for Oz and get a gold medal," Kirsty said. "Though my mate Dale says I prob'ly won't," she amended, sighing.  
  
"Jeez, Kirst, this Dale dude's a drongo. Betcha will!"  
  
Bill called their names even more loudly and they caught hands, rising reluctantly, but to the old man's half impatience, half amusement, made no attempt to turn back.  
  
"Will I?" Kirsty said happily, smiling because the haunted look had gone and his eyes were a sparkling blue.  
  
It was still hurting, when he moved too suddenly or breathed too deeply, all round his ribs where Dad had punched him last night, but the sunlight was shimmering on the water and the waves were jumping and Kirsty had a magic smile. "'Course ya will! And when I grow up, I'm gonna be a captain. I'll be in charge of a huge ship and I'll take people all round the world."   
  
"Can I go with you?"  
  
"Sure! No worries. We'll go to New Zealand and China and America and..."  
  
"But how about you start your world trip with Summer Bay Caravan Park?" Bill said good-humouredly, having given up shouting and decided to bring the kids back himself. "Come on, you two, there's a storm forecast and we still need to buy our tickets for tomorrow's sightseer special cruise. Your Mum's already got hers, Kane."  
  
"My Mum...?" Kane asked cautiously. As far as he knew, Mum was still playing a cake somewhere. He'd asked Scotty if she always played a fruitcake, in the shows he meant, he'd added when Scott looked blank, and his bro said he was a dill and no, she sometimes played a chocolate eclair, but he had a strong feeling Scotty was having a lend of him.  
  
"Yup, bumped into her at the ice-cream kiosk and she says she's got hers and Jamie's," Bill said, as blissfully unaware that Suzy Palmer wasn't Kane's mother as Suzy herself was that she'd adopted Kane.  
  
"Grandad, Kane's going to be a captain on a ship!" Kirsty announced proudly, bursting to tell someone.  
  
"Good on yer, mate! And you never know, someone just might buy you one of those kid's captain hats from the beach shop tomorrow," Bill said, winking.  
  
Then the sun began to slowly set as the little party made their way up the beach, leaving a trail of footprints in the sand, Bill and Mary Sutherland carrying assorted belongings, Dani, dreading the thunder, casting worried glances at the sky, Jade (who'd convinced herself Abby could walk but was dragging her feet because she wanted to be carried) scolding the baby doll, Kirsty and Kane, hand in hand, sharing a whispered secret.  
  
And all too soon memories would fade with the shifting sands and the tide would wash away their footsteps.  
  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
Kirsty smiled at the little boy as she twisted the lid of the plastic beaker for him.  
  
"Ta. Tirsty," Jamie said.  
  
"Hey, Kirst, he nearly said your name, din'cha, mate?" Kane grinned.  
  
Jamie eagerly reached up for the drink and managed to spill the contents of the non-spill cup by missing his lips and throwing orange juice down his chin.  
  
"Jam-ie!" Kirsty laughed, taking a paper tissue to gently wipe his mouth.  
  
The ship pushed further away from the land, gathering a sudden speed in its eagerness to be sailing far away and free, causing Kirsty to stumble. She made to reach for the rail, and for Jamie, to steady themselves, but Kane was there first, resting a hand firmly on Jamie's shoulder and taking Kirsty's hand, laughing as the sea spray washed over them all.  
  
"I'm flyin', I'm flyin'!" Jamie said excitedly.  
  
"We all are," Kirsty said, squeezing Kane's hand.  
  
"Over there, Jamie, mate, that's Yabbie Creek," Kane said, nodding towards the distance. "And over that way, the Bay leads out to the Yabbie river, then to the ocean, to the rest of the world, to thousands of miles away..."  
  
"You make it sound like we could get there and back in a day," Kirsty teased, the sea breeze wildly crisscrossing her hair across her face.  
  
"Yeh, well, kids can dream," Kane said, his blue eyes sparkling.  
  
"'Course they can," Kirsty said, smiling her magic smile.  
  
"Tirsty, tirsty!" Jamie shouted, anxious not to be left out, shaking the plastic beaker to regain their attenton.  
  
"Hey, mate!" Kane stooped down to place his captain's hat on Jamie's head.  
  
"T'ant see!" Jamie announced as the hat fell down over his face. Then it suddenly occurred to him that this fact must make him invisible and he burst into laughter at the delicious thought, making Kirsty and Kane laugh too.  
  
A passenger suddenly pointed a camera and clicked the button.  
  
"Um...it just made such a great pic," the woman who'd taken the shot said, smiling apologetically, slightly embarrassed now by her haste. "Hope you didn't mind."  
  
"No worries," Kane said easily.  
  
"You better get used to having your piccy taken, Kane, like me," Kirsty whispered.  
  
"You got tickets on yourself since you won gold swimming for Oz!" Kane whispered happily back.  
  
But when he straightened Jamie's hat Kirsty noticed him swiftly brush a tear from the corner of his eye.  
  
"Kane, you okay?" she asked, concerned.  
  
He grinned. "Apples, Kirst. I got everything I ever wanted."  
  
"Me too." Kirsty said, slipping her arm into his, and the ship rocked gently as they looked towards the sun-dappled sea, dreaming of tomorrow..........  
  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
  
Kirsty and Kane's wedding day dawned bright and clear. The sun rose early, creeping slowly over the river, first sparkling against the rocks and bathing on the quiet sand, then shimmering the horizon and distant ships in a misty, lazy heat, till it climbed high in the sky and dazzled Kirsty's eyes when she swung round from the mirror to the opened door and the bright flash of light that burst though the small window on the landing.  
  
"Dani...?" she said uncertainly.   
  
"You're not changed yet." Jade didn't make it sound like a question, but it was a question just the same as she too shaded her eyes.  
  
"No-o. There's ages." Still in her dressing gown, Dani sank into the chair, hugging herself for comfort in the way she had often done when the attack first happened. Kirsty and Jade exchanged glances and in the uneasy silence Laura's well-cultured, slightly spoilt voice floated up the stairs, finding fault with something or other, irritating Kirsty.  
  
Both Laura and Jade were bridesmaids ("I can't. You understand, don't you?" Dani had replied, as Kirsty had thought she would but hoped she wouldn't when she'd asked her to be a bridesmaid too) but the bride's choice of Laura had been out of duty. She didn't exactly dislike her sister, but if they hadn't discovered who they were, they would probably never have been anything more than casual acquaintances. Jade would always be her twin, they understood each other, had shared too much together for it ever to change.   
  
It was Jade now who read her mind and gently closed the bedroom door. The only person apart from Kane who Kirsty would choose to have standing by her at this moment, reassuringly squeezing her shoulder, because Kirsty herself could only sit numbly staring at Dani, so scared this happy day was about to crash into thousands of tiny pieces.   
  
Dani took a deep breath. "I didn't tell you guys everything about the dream I had last night. And I have to. I think...I think it was a warning." 


	8. Chapter 8

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ha, you think you haven't read ANY of the final scenes yet, don't you??? ;o)))  
  
CHAPTER 8  
  
Final Chapter  
  
Well, let them panic. Sometimes you had to be where you could breathe, where the rush of waves could soothe like music and nothing hurt anymore. Kane leaned his hands on the log rail, looking down at the beach, taking deep breaths. How was it when they'd eloped to marry he'd been on a high yet today he'd never been so nervous in his life? Last night he'd tossed and turned and in the short time he had slept every dream had been a nightmare.   
  
It had been a mistake to visit his old home. It was as if yesterday, like it had always known and always been waiting for him in the musty damp smell of the abandoned house, had seeped into his skin like a poison. Whatever he did, wherever he turned, he could never run away from the fact he was Richie Phillips' son. Strangers remarked on the resemblance, looking at him in exactly the same way Dani used to look at him when he'd first returned to the Bay, and, jeez, all he ever had to do was catch his reflection in a mirror and except for the eyes Richie Phillips stared back at him.  
  
The nightmares had had a new twist last night. Sometimes he was the little kid screaming as he was thrashed by his Dad, sometimes he was Richie himself curling the bike chain round his fist, and he was so scared, so very, very scared, of turning into his father and hurting Kirsty. Already he looked like him, what if it was in his blood, what would he do, how would he live, if he ever lost her? Because he'd give her up and have his heart ache for the rest of his life rather than put her through what he'd been through with Dad. And then the sea breezes came, warm and gentle, carrying the cries of the gulls and the scent of the ocean, and the white, foamy waves swept across the river, tugging at his heart, calming him, reminding him the love he and Kirsty shared was so strong, so unbreakable, that he could never, never in a million years, never till the end of time, ever hurt her.  
  
Gradually his breathing slowed and he began to think more clearly though he wasn't yet ready to go back. Irene was probably making frantic phone calls to Flynn, Jesse, Alf and the rest, casting anxious glances at the clock, counting down the precious, flying, irretrievable minutes. But it'd be okay, Tasha would calm her down. Tasha would be waiting patiently, watching the gulls dipping and spinning and gliding over Summer Bay, and understand a childhood.  
  
XXXXX   
  
Dani gasped when she realised just how far down the ground was. But she couldn't face meeting anyone just yet and she so much needed to get away from all these wedding preparations, to clear her head for just a little while.   
  
When they'd first moved to Summer Bay Caravan Park Kirsty had often done The Jump, for the sake of it, because the annex was there and because she could, leaving Dani with her heart in her mouth and Jade almost crying with fear. Dani and Jade could never understand Kirsty's constant need to run or climb or play footie, not even when they were kids, and they understood it even less now they were older. It messed up hair, broke nails, smeared make-up. Kirsty only laughed and didn't care when they told her that.  
  
Dani never dreamed there would come a day when she too would be leaving via The Jump, but now here she was sitting on her bedroom window sill on Kirsty and Kane's wedding day, dressed in old jeans, trainers and a casual summer top, dangling her legs above the roof of the annex, being stared at from the wall by a black cat who until the unexpected interruption had been peacefully basking in the sun. Several minutes passed by without any more action and the cat, concluding the show had been cancelled, was in the middle of a leisurely half stretch, when Dani finally found her courage and jumped, closing her eyes and heaving a sigh of relief as her feet safely touched down on the flat annex roof. Now there was no going back. The window was still within her reach but just that little bit too high to haul herself back up.  
  
She cautiously made her way to the edge of the roof, twisted her body round and gingerly lowered herself from the roof to the garden wall. Alarmed at this sudden turn of events, the cat leapt quickly leapt off the wall it hadn't reckoned on sharing and shot through. Dani jumped down on to the soft grass and watched the animal thoughtfully. Some people believed it was lucky to have a black cat cross your path, some people believed it was unlucky. Well, everything had changed now. What she'd decided, what she'd told Kirsty and Jade...she had to live with that decision forever, whether it was right or wrong.  
  
XXXXX  
  
Kirsty was still crying. She never thought she'd be crying on her wedding day, but she was, like she'd never be able to stop, Dani's words had made her cry so much.  
  
"Hey, you're ruining your make-up," Jade said gently, hugging her.  
  
"I don't care," Kirsy sobbed into her shoulder.  
  
"And my dress."  
  
"Sorry. I'm so sorry." Kirsty gulped.  
  
"It's okay. It's okay, Kirst, I'm sure we can start all over again."  
  
"But what if we can't? Jade, what if we can't? Why did Dan have to choose today of all days to say everything she said?" said Kirsty, and cried fresh tears.  
  
XXXXX  
  
The coast road was a long, curving road, the first picturesque glimpse visitors had of Summer Bay, the image those who had left the little seaside town carried in their hearts whenever they thought nostalgically of home. Along with the diner and the wharf, it was a popular meeting place, its curve making it easy to see people, even from a distance. So Dani knew it was Kane as soon as she stepped on to the coast road.  
  
He hadn't seen her. He looked too deep in thought to notice anybody, like all that mattered was the sea he was staring down into. It was strange that he should be here too. Her feet had taken her there because of a dream, because the coast road was just a few minutes away from the caravan park, where she could while away a precious half an hour in peace, gathering her thoughts before anyone missed her. Because no one would ever know how much it cost her to do what she'd done. Not even Kirsty.  
  
Dani absently trailed her hand along the log rail, brushing off the sand, like when she was a kid she would often pick up a twig to run along the railings, with Kirsty and Jade closely following because in those simple days the twins always wanted to do whatever Dani did. Once, Mum said, coming home from the large city park, the three of them had walked, one behind the other, each running a twig the entire length of the park railings in an almost perfect sequence, making so many people smile on that gloomy Sunday afternoon.  
  
She bit her lip and began walking towards him, curious about why he was there, reassured there were people around and a constant swish of traffic, because in the nightmares still she feared him. She had almost reached him when a loud crash, like the thunder that had terrified her when she was small, startled her, and Kane looked up at the sudden movement.  
  
"The hell houses are being knocked down," he explained. "Good riddance to 'em."  
  
Dani nodded agreement, following his gaze opposite the sea where a fog of dark grey smoke rose from the distant hill that fringed Summer Bay. "Didn't you use to live round there?"  
  
"Yeh, a long time ago." He swung round, looking anxious. "How come you're here? Is Kirsty...?"  
  
"She's fine. I could ask you the same question."  
  
He shrugged. " Needed to be on my own a while. Sometimes the nightmares..." Kane glanced back down at the sea as if it held all the answers.  
  
"Yeh. I have them too."  
  
"Dani, I didn't mean...You know if I could only change what happened...?"  
  
"I know." She had attended enough mediation sessions with him by now to know he was sorry though nothing could ever take away the pain. "But we can't change the past, Kane, only the future. We can change what we are. And I'm not going to be a victim anymore. I can do things I never thought I ever could. You know, for the first time in my life today I even left the house through the window? Maybe that's all down to the message in the dream too."  
  
"Funny, I always went in through the window when I was a kid!" He half smiled, wary, because nothing had ever come easy in his life. "What dream? What message?"   
  
Dani took a deep breath. She was still shaking. "No matter how hard it is to break away from the past, we have force ourselves to let go."  
  
XXXXX  
  
Krsty and Kane decided to call their first baby Jamie. James Daniel. Jamie because Kane vaguely remembered a little kid he used to wish was his kid brother.  
  
"Yeh, I love it," Kirsty said. "You know, it's funny, I'm almost certain I knew a Jamie too when I was a rugrat myself. Probably my imagination. But I love it for another reason. We have the Jay of Jade."  
  
Daniel because Dani had given so much.   
  
XXXXX  
  
The sunlight had been dancing quietly on the walls and the waves were lapping rhythmically against the shore when Dani told Kirsty and Jade of her dream.   
  
"Summer Bay had suddenly become much, much higher above the sea but I could still see you and I knew, even through the noise of the storm, you could somehow still hear me. I was yelling for you so loud, Kirst, I was so scared you'd fall and be smashed against the rocks or be swept away by the sea and I'd never see you again. But you just kept on walking towards Kane..." Dani was trembling at the memory, the dream had been so vivid, and Jade put her arm round her shoulders.  
  
"Dani, I'm okay, I'm okay, it was just a dream," Kirsty said emotionally, taking her sister's hands in her own.  
  
"It seemed much more than a dream though. Afterwards I sat there for ages thinking about it. What it all meant, why Gran and Grandad were there, why we were all kids, even why you..." she smiled tearfully at Jade "...had that big doll you used to take everywhere."  
  
"Abby," Jade said, smiling quietly. "Who could forget Abby? I thought she was real. I thought she was our other..." she hesitated before she added the word "twin."  
  
"Jade, you'll always be my twin! Yeh, sure, Laura might be my real twin, but I didn't grow up with her, I didn't fight with her or tell her all my secrets like I did with my true twin. And, Dani, you'll always be my sister, nothing's changed, I still care about you both so much."  
  
Dani gulped back a sob. "Gran and Grandad really loved each other, didn't they? Sometimes when they babysat and you guys were fast asleep Gran would make my hot milk and tell me the story of how they met. It was at kindy and they hated each other at first! Till the day Grandad made Gran cry real bad when he pushed her over, and he was so sorry that he picked her loads of flowers and got in heaps of trouble because he trampled all over the headmistress's private flowerbed. And, Jade, you loved that doll, Abby, it really would have broken your heart if you had left her behind. Funny what people do for love."  
  
"Dani, I never meant to hurt you." Tears were streaming down Kirsty's cheeks.  
  
"That dream was so real. There were all those rocks and the sea and the storm, and Kane...Kane, he climbed right on up there for you and grabbed your hand. And, you know, if you HAD had turned back, if you HAD listened to me..." Dani shuddered as an ice cold shiver ran through her "...you would have fallen down on to the rocks. I would have killed you, but up there, up there with Kane you were safe. And I think...I think the dream was telling me if we can never let go of the past we lose everything we have today. I love you, Kirsty. And I know Kane loves you too and he'll always be there for you. I'll always be here for you too, for you and Jade. Yeh, and I guess Kane too, he's part of the family now."  
  
Nobody could tell who was crying most. Nobody knew how the first tearful hugs quickly turned into high-fives and nobody thought for a minute of saying thankyous or loveyous, the tears simply mixed in with laughter and they shouted "cool chicks" and then "cool chooks". Sisters forever. It was Dani who broke away first, sniffing, wiping her eyes with the tips of her fingers.  
  
"I better go, guys, I've a wedding to get ready for. I hear the bride will look beautiful." And she smiled at Kirsty before she left.  
  
XXXXX   
  
They had chosen to know the sex of the baby and the nursery, the little corner room that caught the gentle sea breezes in summer and the warmth of the sun in winter, was already crammed with toys, lovingly furnished and decorated, freshly painted blue. His favourite colour. There was still a splash of blue paint on his hand, where he'd been repainting a patch of wall that he felt wasn't quite perfect, and he so much wanted everything to be perfect, and he'd still managed to be totally shocked, after nine months of waiting and preparation, when Kirsty, terrifed and happy, had announced the baby was on its way.  
  
"He has your eyes, Kane," Kirsty said.  
  
He held his son for the very first time, unable to speak because of the lump in his throat and the rush of love overwhelming him. She stroked the baby's head, smiling at the expression on her husband's face, while he didn't dare move, terrified of breaking the spell of this tiny person staring up at him. At last his voice came, husky and faraway.  
  
"I swear I'm gonna be the best Dad ever, Kirst. I'm gonna take him to play footie and teach him how to swim and when he starts school I'm gonna go see his pictures on the walls and talk to his teachers, betcha he'll be so smart, but you know what? I won't care if he's not smart, just so long's he's happy 'cos I never want him to be scared or lonely or hurt."  
  
"Kane, I love you so much," Kirsty whispered, reaching for their son as Jamie's eyelids fluttered back into sleep.   
  
He gently placed his forehead against his wife's. "Babe, didn't even know what the word meant till I met you. I love you and Jamie more than anything else in the whole world. Always."   
  
XXXXX  
  
The ship was rocking gently as they looked towards the sun-dappled sea, as the passenger who'd taken their photo walked away.  
  
"You better get used to having your piccy taken, Kane, like me," Kirsty whispered.  
  
"You got tickets on yourself since you won gold swimming for Oz!" Kane whispered happily back.  
  
But when he straightened Jamie's hat Kirsty noticed him swiftly brush a tear from the corner of his eye.  
  
"Kane, you okay?" she asked, concerned.  
  
He grinned. "Apples, Kirst. I got everything I ever wanted."   
  
"Me too." Kirsty said, slipping her arm into his.  
  
And like queen of the river, dignified and proud, drawing admiring glances from the distant watchers on the shore, the ship glided gracefully towards New Zealand, the first country they would visit on the world cruise.   
  
Captain Kane Phillips grinned as his wife, giggling like a kid, rammed his captain's hat back down on his head, and he kissed her, lifting their small son on to his shoulders, as the sunlight shimmered on a timeless green ocean where the waves rolled over and over. What dreams may come on those waves that kiss the distant shores, tumbling and crashing, then soaring and dancing. What beautiful dreams come true.  
  
END  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Wow, finished, and just in time, I go on hol Sat! :o)))   
  
That might be the last story I write for quite a while though, it's getting so difficult to find the time. BTW can anyone tell me exactly what "heavy traffic on this site" means? I did an internet search and figured out it's when ppl hit on the same page but how many ppl make heavy traffic? One? Ten? Twenty? Or is it just this site stuffing up? Only sometimes when I post a new chapter and I go to read if it's okay it won't let me go into the chapter, I just get the "heavy traffic" message and I'm really curious. 


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